What Keeps Me Going When Hiding Looks So Darn Good?

Flu1 by evah sxc

As you can tell by the heading, I’m feeling fed up, and having a cold doesn’t help matters at all!! It’s more than just feeling tired and gross that has me feeling like throwing in the towel, though, and here is that reason:

Are all my efforts paying off? Are all the hours spent editing my third book, and promoting and marketing the first two and the soon to be released third, actually going to make a difference to me or the world? Will I ever see my sales skyrocket? Will I ever be on a best-seller list? Do my 2,360 followers on Twitter and over 1000 fans on Facebook actually care what I’m writing? Do they even know that I’m writing?

The answer: I dunno!!!

Next question: Does it matter?

Answer: Yes…and no.

Yes because it’s my responsibility as a self-published author to reach my followers on Twitter and fans on Facebook through self-promotion and marketing. It’s my responsibility to make people notice me and learn about me and my work and to educate them on what I do. It is my job to learn how to do all of this effectively in the minimum amount of time.

When I decided to go Indie I accepted the challenge to do everything myself, therefore it most certainly is my responsibility to train and educate myself on how to go about it, and then to get on with it! My unique personality is what attracts more attention; my relationship with friends, fans, and followers across the entire Social Media platform is what draws them to me and ultimately my work.

Hand Shake1 by pixelstar sxc

Trust is key. I cannot earn trust without building relationships – relationships that are powerful, significant, and influential. Be smart, I always say to myself, not busy. Doing too much can become as ineffectual as doing nothing at all. Learn from those who are successful and listen to your intuition when it comes to what information to use for your specific situation and goal.

So, yes, it does matter – but only when I’m smart and spend less time doing too much of the superficial stuff and more time doing what’s deeply effective, personal, and more attentive towards those that are potential readers of my work. The focus should be on them. I now believe that being too inwardly focused is damaging to my relationships and, as a result, my work. I need to focus more on the hearts of my potential readers than in trying to ram my novels down their throats. Maybe then I’ll get the attention I want.

Now, the answer to the question is also no because when it comes right down to it I am mainly writing for the privilege of being able to create an incredible, unique story of thrilling adventures and filled with so much emotion, fantastic characters, and detailed experiences that I am always left amazed when I read my first draft after all the writing’s done. “I made that,” I often exclaim in astonishment, and once again I am humbled by the indescribable gift of storytelling I’ve been given.

I may never be a best-seller or rate up there with Stephen King and Terry Brooks, but I most certainly will produce the best piece if fantasy literature I can achieve on my journey at this moment in time.

Of course, all the effort is worth. I have to learn to be more efficient, less long-winded in all my promotion and marketing, and more attentive and faithful to my potential readers.

And never, ever must I give in to the feelings of helplessness, despondency, and doubt that attack me when I least expect it. Those tough moments are delivered to me with love, and within them are lessons to be learned and encouragements and urgings to review what I’ve done in the past and move on from those things that are not working.

Cover of "Carrie"

Cover of Carrie

No effort is ever wasted. Those sincere attempts might not be as potent and productive as they could be but they always count – whether you’re learning how to do it better or finding out what’s not important. If what you’re doing isn’t producing results then change it or discard it or it will eat away your enthusiasm like bubbling acid until there’s nothing left and you feel like giving up and throwing your work in the bin. Remember what happened to Stephen King? He threw Carrie in the dustbin and his wife fished it out, told him to finish it, and then submit it. It was his first novel and he got over $200, 000.00 for it!! He never looked back after that! Thank goodness his wife never accepted the despondency and discouragement of her husband. Can you imagine what would have happened to King if he’d done that with all his later manuscripts?

Oh, and never make judgements and decisions about editing/writing when you’re tired, hungry, or sick!

Hope this helps you in some way. My personal situation has certainly taught me a lot these past few weeks and finding a balance between caring and not caring – caring about what works and not caring about what appears to be failing (when it actually isn’t) – is the most important place to be as a writer at all times. Being aware of potential failures and things that don’t work and never will is a good place to be because at least then you can recognise the dangers and steer clear of them. Go after what rings true to your heart and spirit and trust in your best Friend – your Muse/God/the Universe – who always faithfully carries you through the tough times, even when you aren’t aware of it!

Dreams in Pi 2 by ugaldew sxc

I love hearing from you, so share your ‘dark’ moments with us so that we can be encouraged and our enthusiasm boosted to continue on with our beautiful craft!


First Image Courtesy of evah

Second Image courtesy of pixelstar

Fourth image (Dreams in Pi 2) courtesy of ugaldev


About SwordBearer

I am a fantasy and science fiction author. I have published three epic fantasy novels in a tetralogy with Xlibris Publishing, and a sci-fi short story, The Door. All are available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and other major online retailers. The Door is also available on Smashwords. I love reading everything from King to Koontz, Cussler to Brooks and Feist, to name but a few. Before writing became my life I was a professional ballet, jazz/contemporary dancer in South Africa. Writing and storytelling have always been passions since childhood, and I want to share them with the world!!

Posted on February 13, 2013, in Believe in Your Writing Abilities, You are a Creator! Believe it! and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. I hear your pain! I can relate and sometimes wonder whether all the tweeting, FB and everything else is going to work. Eventually it will happen. I do get frustrated especially as I would like to be further along but with patience and diligence, it will pay off.
    Hope it happens!


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